Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
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you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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