I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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