see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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