wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
