so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
