$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
