flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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