5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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