Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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