Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
