We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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