I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I stole a fireplace last night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
