It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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