I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
