woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
