just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
