Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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