Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
