Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
