There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
