You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
