Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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