so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
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youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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