The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
