remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize