I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
