Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
