If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
