I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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