Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
