Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
