you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
