if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
