just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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