I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
