HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
