it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
