I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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