my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
