in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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