As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
