what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
