you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
