just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
