Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
