He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
