We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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