I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
