Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
