i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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