if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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