i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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