He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can't put those talents on a resume
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize