i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
