i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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