do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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